Cheap Cleaning Services for Cheapskates

Posted by on February 25, 2015 in Announcements

Cheap Cleaning Services for Cheapskates

We don’t say that we are the absolute cheapest of cheap cleaning services per se, except when factoring in all the quality work that we do.  Still, this isn’t the place for cheapskates — go try DiscountMaids.NYC then, where it’s just the bottom line and nothing else if that’s your thing — because quality takes time, which is money, and we refuse to apologize for it!

Would you go argue at a restaurant with the maître-d over the prices — despite them being posted on the menu in the window?  Would you argue with a plumber or locksmith who’s come over to your place about his or her prices??  Then why do it with us?

We’re not sure why we keep getting the cheap crazies calling us arguing with us over our prices, or, worse actually, signing up despite our attempts at turning them away (“it’s okay, think about it first and call back if you decide on us”) but still complaining as ever about our rates, even manufacturing dissatisfaction in a bid to pressure us for a discount.  To all such cheapskates, we say please, oy, vey, go away!!!

It’s a very strange thing to have to deal with such people.  In all my three years at Polish Ladies Cleaning Service, I’ve had many an occasion to run into them answering phone calls and e-mail messages, and it’s always the same: they pay no less than a hundred thousand dollars a year in property taxes at the least (or their trust funds do, anyway) and yet they think we’re too expensive.  But instead of just leaving it at that, they try haggling with us or, worse yet, manufacture some complaint as an excuse to pressure us into a discount.  Company lore is full of accounts of these cheat-skates even going through the process of filing false insurance claims and putting up with the subsequent insurance company investigations just to wring that very last buck out of us, which is partially why we refuse to carry insurance anymore — it simply attracts the wrong people!

Cheapskates Are Cheat-Skates

Why do people do this?  Does it really work — are there truly that many slaves about who fear losing the chance to toil away for such affluent cheapskates???  Has your life been so truly charmed that you really think we’d kowtow to your naked attempts at theft???

Well over nineteen years now we’ve been in business in this town and it amazes us no end: just where do you extraordinarily entitled people come from?  Didn’t your parents teach you it’s poor form to cry about money when you clearly have lots of it??  Don’t you realize that that $60 difference between us and our competitors is just a pair of socks to you but a whole three days’ meals to us???

Many of these people live in the most liberal districts of Manhattan Island, no less.  Genuine limousine liberals who go to Clinton fundraisers and have the pictures to prove it, undoubtedly toeing the party line about the disappearing middle class and yet have the unmitigated gall to accuse us of price-gouging them…as if we somehow strong-armed them into taking services!

It’s quite the puzzle.  Yes, people want value for their money.  Sure, who wouldn’t want cheap cleaning services if they can get it.  But does no one realize that cleaning isn’t easy?  And I’m not even talking about the proverbial blood, sweat, and tears here — there’s simply the fact that a certain degree of technical proficiency is required, a certain skill set, however humble.

Then there’s the fact that it takes a certain sensibility, a certain personality, to work as a housekeeper, whether in a private residential setting or a commercial retail environment.  Plus, you’ve got to trust the person, and that means going through a company which can vouch for its workers and their work.  Does no one understand this?  That someone has to pay for it all?

From the pothead princess who lives next door to the Egyptian Embassy and the psychotic psychotherapist with two apartments on the Upper West Side stuffed with precious valuables to the former ballerina with a helicopter and the frum housewife living in Gatsby territory, we get all kinds of people accusing us of being “expensive” — after having agreed to our prices, which are clearly stated, and in some cases even after having finagled a discount already!

The High Price of Low Cost

How much is enough?  Do you mind if we make a decent living?  As your priest or rabbi would probably exclaim on our behalf, what are we, chopped liver???  (Actually, we’ve been ripped off by priests and nuns, believe it or not, so never mind them.  Rabbis have been good so far and would probably advocate for us!)

Please, if you’re so worried about money but feel entitled to quality maid services all the same, kindly abandon your present addresses for something more middle class and save your pennies!  But you have the money for weed and specialty bongs yet we should subsidize your habit by taking a pay cut??  You have two apartments in one of the most expensive ZIP codes in the city and thus in the country and likely even the world and yet think we should give you yet another discount over some trumped-up aggrievement of a non-issue entirely out of our control anyway???  You own a helicopter for going to the Hamptons but want to play games pretending someone else at our company had already given you a cheaper price the other day?????  You live in a midtown penthouse on the thirty-something floor that’s been featured in them fancy-livin’ magazines and  think we cost too much??????????  You pay US$19,000.00 a month in rent for just a ninth-floor view overlooking Central Park and we’re the “expensive” ones???????????????????

FOR SHAME.

To Each Her Own

Don’t like us judging how you choose to spend your money?  Then don’t argue with us over our prices.

You’re not buying a widget or renting a machine.  You’re buying a human being’s time and effort.  In fact, it isn’t just the maid’s, either; there’s a lot of preparatory work and even after-action work involved in each session, not just what you can see.  Time and effort are the most precious thing any one of us has to offer; our time, our effort, our care.  We value our time and effort and expertise, and if you don’t then stop wasting your own time trying to haggle with us.  We’re not offering wholesale commodities here!